Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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