just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dick very happy bro
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
