she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
