nut hugger
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
