i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
