I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
