i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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