I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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