what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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