We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
