Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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