I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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