If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
