Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
