what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
