She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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