I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
