My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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