White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
