I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My bed smells like the plague
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
