I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
