i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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