it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
