don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
