i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize