i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My vagina is officially offended.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
