Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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