I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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