ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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