Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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