He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's official drugs can't kill me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
