Say something about gay babies.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
