More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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