this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So much rum. So many feels.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
