He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
