from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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