Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
