Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
