i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
