i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
one might say we're banned from that church
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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