Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
