marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
