I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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