is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize