What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
