i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
worst night to have a conscience
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
