There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
there is glitter all over my balls
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize