My Higher Power is John Stamos
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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