Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
