I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We are all done wearing pants today
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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