chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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