This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
