Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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