I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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