Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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