Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
