low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
