I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
