I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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