i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
