we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Dear god my vagina.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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