what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
