How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
