They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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