How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
