So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
